You are the AUTHOR of your own LIFE STORY
by Steady Silence
Summary: Everyone has a past, a present, and a future. Their very own life story. This is a collection of freestyle poems about the lives of the detectives in the sixteenth precinct.
1. Amanda- Season 15

**Author's note:**

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for clicking! It really means a lot to me. c:**

**Anyway, I love writing freestyle poems. I've been scratching a lot of them down lately. And figured hey, why not try to write one for SVU? **  
**I was originally going to write one about Olivia, and all the stuff she's been dealing with this season. But after I started, I realized that it sounded more like Amanda. And eventually just ended up writing it about her. So this poem is about Amanda, and all the stuff she's been dealing with this season (And maybe some leftover dirt from past seasons? Interpret it as you like. xD c: )**  
**So, yeah. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU. It'd be awesome if I did, but I don't.**

**Another disclaimer: I'm sort of new to SVU. (Hey that sorta of rhymes.) I've liked watching it for awhile. (Like the past couple years of my childhood. xD) But I've never been like, super into it or anything. This past school year, for some reason I've just gotten really into the show. And watch it all the time. I've seen a ton of old episodes, from various other seasons and such. But, I am in no way an SVU expert. So, do not think me as one. xD :D  
**

**Anyway, without any more rambling from me. xD Here we go!**

* * *

You _aren't_ a child.  
You _never_ were one.  
**Youthful joy,** callow dreams,_ and innocence_  
Were _never_ a part of who you were-  
For you, growing up was not a _scary process_  
For you_ never_ had to go through with it,  
You were always just a **grown-up**  
Trying to MANIPULATE the cards  
playthegame  
Work with the world  
playthegame  
To make your way.  
playthegame  
Until your body matched your mind,  
And you could get away with the crime-  
keepplayingthegame  
playthegame  
**You can take care of yourself,**  
_Don't need_ anyone else's help.  
Tell the concerned looks,  
and scared faces  
That everything **_WILL_** be okay  
aslongasyoukeepplayingthegame  
Because if you couldn't _handle_ it,  
You wouldn't be _dealing_ with it.  
playthegame  
You are _lovely_, you are _beautiful  
_But also _angry_, and _c__onfused  
_playthegameplaythegame  
As you_ cry_, and _ shake  
You don't know what to do!  
_How to_ handle _yourself. How to_ comfort _yourself._  
So you do what you do best.  
_You_ playthegame  
_Give into your **temptation.**  
playthegame  
Don't worry about _penance_, and_ crime_  
You just have to play the game  
**One more time.**  
So that you can settle your _mind._  
Comeonlovelylet'splay  
Because **you** think **you** know who **you** are,  
And **not** what you're **not.  
**playthegame  
_Because you're just so-  
INDEPENDENT.  
_independenceindependenceindependence  
You **_chant_** that that **_word_** like a _**mantra**_,  
_Write it up_ on a banner,  
_To hang_ above your door  
_Get it tattooed_ across your body  
So that it can stay there-  
_**PERMANENTLY.  
**_allyouwantissomethingpermanent  
_Something_ to hold.  
itonlyhurtswhenyou'realone  
Because you only feel **lonely**, when you're in **good company**,  
Because nobody really understands that you are  
_**INDEPENDENT.  
**_With _independence_ comes a  false _sense of confidence  
_That you use as a **((-**SHIELD-**))  
**To **ward**_ away_ the people you care about the most,  
Because all _they_ really want to know is-  
playthegame  
What's really going on?  
areyousurethatyou'realright?  
**Don't** let them in! **Don't** let them see!  
The _cracks_, and the _bruises  
playthegameplaythegame  
_That you're secretly covered in.  
Breakingapartlikecracksonthesidewalk  
So that **nobody** can see that **inside** you're  
_**WASTING AWAY.  
**_Like _cracks_ on the **_sidewalk._**  
youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
Because _not even you_ know why-  
youcan'twalkallovermelikethis  
**Why** this had to start back up_ again  
_youcan'twalkallovermelikethis  
You're_ intelligent_. You're _worthy_.  
youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
So why? _**Why did all this happen?**_  
youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
You made yourself _  
_youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
_Pinky swear, that you'd never fall this low  
_youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
And yet here **you** are  
youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
Stuck here.  
youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
In your own_ worst nightmare.  
_youcan'twalkallovermelikethis  
**Trapped** here. At the **bottom.  
**youcan'twalkovermelikethis  
**Rock bottom.  
**playthegameplaythegame  
….Play…..the….game….?

..

...

.

.

.

OH COME ON WHY?

YOU ARE AN

**_INDEPENDENT INDIVIDUAL._**

YOU **DON'T NEED** ANYONE ELSE'S _HELP._  
**NOT EVEN YOUR OWN.**  
CAN'T GIVE YOURSELF A **BREAK**!  
OR FIND YOURSELF A **BREAK**!  
**break**break**break**break**break**  
**break**itall  
playthegame  
A break, a break  
Like a _crack_ in the sidewalk.  
But not the-  
the _stopping_ of a car,  
Because you just can't _stop_  
playthegameplaythegameplaythegame  
No you just-  
**CAN'T STOP  
**playthegame  
**PLAYING _THIS_ GAME.  
**playthegame  
You **want** to **GIVE UP.**  
**GIVE IN** to this mess.  
playthegame  
1One1 _more time-_  
playthegame.  
1One1 _last time-_  
playthegame  
_A few more times,_  
Until you can no longer –

**H**_I_**D**_E_**.**

hide?

...?

**H**_I_**D**_E_**.  
**  
So_ steal_ it all away  
playthegame  
_Take away_ your brain.  
playthegame  
_Let it all just_ fade away.  
playthegame  
Because, this is your life  
_**Not**_ anybody else's  
playthegame  
_And you are an:_  
**_INDEPENDENT INDIVIDUAL_**  
and nothing more  
**((**_Independent_**))**, and on your own  
Not_ needing_ anyone else  
Not reaching, seeking, asking for anyone else  
Only _dependent_ on 1one1 thing,  
And that's  
playthegame  
The  
playthegame  
Game**.**  
playthegame  
And yet despite all your_ sins,_  
Yourproblems-they'reallterribleterriblemistakes  
Despite all your **battles**,  
Your **struggles**, and your **wars**  
Thegameisanunevenbattlefield  
Whichsideareyouon?  
You've been given this thing, they call it a-  
**"**_second chance_**"**  
You were _reminded_ that your_ life_ is what **you make of it-**  
Because you can be_** independent**_  
But, no matter how _**independent** _you are  
You are _actually_ never **alone**,  
So _child_, put your weapons down  
And find your way **back** to a **_home_**  
Because the one's who care about you,  
_Will never leave you._  
They just have to learn,  
**learn**_learn_learn  
how to trust you again  
Idon'twanttoplaythegameanymore  
So **forgive _yourself_**.  
Neveragain  
Be _**thankful**_ again.  
Icanmakebetterchoices  
_Because you were given an opportunity to start over again._  
Justkeeppushingforward  
Take it, and live it  
Because, deep inside you know you can.  
**Just try hard,** and don't give up.  
Because you still can be an **_independent_**.  
And still lean on _someone_.  
When you really need it.

* * *

**So guys...what did you think?**  
**Should I continue these? And if I do, who should I do next? Did I represent Amanda well enough?**  
**I'd love to hear what you think!**  
**So, feel free to leave me a review! :D**  
**Anyway, that's all. Thanks again for reading! It means a lot to me. c:**


	2. Fin- Poisoned Motive

**Author's note:  Wow guys! Thank you all so much for your nice comments! :D**  
**An extra thank you, to the guest that reviewed. I usually reply to reviews via PM (If I remember….I must confess I have forgotten to reply to reviews before….. xD). But, since they weren't a member I couldn't send them one. So, to that one guest, thank you so much for your awesome comment! xD :D**

**Spoiler Warnings: Anything beyond this point could contain potential spoilers for the season fourteen episode "Poisoned Motive". I'll try not to spoil anything too much, but you have been warned. C:**

**More Author's notes: Anyway, this poem is going to be about Fin. I love Fin. He's epic. The premise for this poem takes place during/after (Or another time even- however you wish to interpret it. :D ) the season fourteen episode "Poisoned Motive". Which is definitely one of my fav episodes. Because it's about Fin, and his old partner from Narcotics.**

**In the episode, Amanda gets shot. And it eventually ties back into Fin's old life in Narcotics. Fin left Narcotics shortly after his old partner- Luis Montero- took a bullet for him. Luis is now disabled, and unable to walk properly. His wife got cancer, and died. Fin feels guilty for not being there for his old partner. He also feels guilty, because Luis took a bullet meant for him. In the end, Gloria, Luis's daughter. Turns out to be the shooter. **

**That was a really crappy, and quick summary. The episode has a lot more depth to it than that. But, there's the basic premise for ya. :D This poem is basically about Fin feeling guilty about everything that happened. :D**

**Without further ado, here we go:**

A wise man once told me that,  
What doesn't **KILL** you  
Only makes you **"**_STRONGER_**"**  
_strengthinnumbers?_  
And yet _fifteen younger years_ ago,  
FIVEmultipledbyTHREE  
I should have been **/**_lying_**/**  
THREEmultipliedbyFIVE  
**NINE**-**FEET**-**UNDER**  
FIFTEENsubtractSIX  
And yet here I STAND today  
_Alive_, because nothing has yet** KILLED ME**  
But am I really **_stronger_?**  
**WHATdoesn'tKILLyouMAKESyou"STRONGER"**  
**And** no, son. It wasn't your fault.  
FaultFaultFault  
It wasn't your fault, either.  
FaultFaultFault  
_Neither was it there's._  
FaultFaultFault  
Or mine.  
FaultFaultFault.  
They say that** no one** was to blame-  
Because the _best tragedies_ are just that, mere  
"_**COINCIDENCES**_"  
**WHATdoesn'tKILLyouMAKESyou"STRONGER"**  
And since NO ONE was to BLAME  
can'tfindanyonetoblame  
_It just happened all the same_  
can'tfindanyonetoblame  
And yet _time_ still flies,  
NeedSomeoneToPointFingersAt  
Like a** /**_BULLET_**/** through the air,  
A gun **resting,** sitting, _waiting, **watching**_  
On the back of your neck  
You're _waiting_ for the _BOOM_!  
The smell of gun fire in the air.  
It doesn't come,  
UNTIL  
SUDDENLY  
can'tfindanyonetoblame  
suddenlysuddenlysuddenly.  
FAULT  
**It's all my fault.**  
FaultFaultFault  
This is a **TRAGEDY**  
_Because there REALLY WAS_  
**S**_O_M**E**_O_N**E**  
to blame.  
_And that's me._  
**Me**Me_Me_  
And yet there's still those  
**"**_Soul Searching_"  
moments.  
Where, somewhere out there  
The FAULT LINES move beneath my feet  
_Shifting, turning, changing, crying_  
**Reminding** me that it's all because of me  
Because I am the one to blame.  
FaultFaultFault  
**And**  
FaultFaultFault  
It'sallyourfault  
**With**  
Every **STEP** I take,  
Every **MOVE** I make  
Every **BREATH** I take  
Every **TEAR** I cry  
Every **WORD** I say,  
They were-  
**stepsmovesbreathestearswords**  
_THAT I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO SAY_  
Because  
BecauseBecause  
BecauseBecauseBecause  
I'm not even supposed to be _alive_ here today-  
WHY DID I DO THIS?  
I THOUGHT I WAS _I THOUGHT I WAS_ **I THOUGHT I WAS**  
_BETTER_ THAN THIS  
I CALLED myself a good man.  
How could I have **LET MYSELF-**  
How can I even **LIVE WITH MYSELF**  
Knowing that I RAN  
WALKED, JOGGED, SPRINTED AWAY  
_On my own two working feet,_  
My legs still working.  
My knees just fine.  
WHATdoesn'tKILLyouMAKESyou**"**_STRONGER_**"**  
My life not **taken**, my soul still **free**  
Relinquishing, in the _gift of freedom,_  
The **((**_love_**))** of** ((**_2ndSecond2nd chances_**))**.  
Letting myself be .f.r.e.e.  
While I turned my back on the very being who had_ freed_ it,  
_Never looking back._  
The past was in the past.  
**I couldn't even let myself spare a thought-**  
To look back.  
Because of  
The _GUILT_  
FaultFaultFault  
it'sallmyfault  
THE _GUILT_ WAS FAR TOO MUCH  
looking at you, seeing you, hearing your name  
It was all too much  
_Your little girl,_  
She just stands there in the corner  
FaultFaultFault  
Innocent smile gone  
Big brown eyes afraid  
_A little ten-year-old_  
**Tomboy** in **overalls**  
Finally defeated.  
It brought back the _guilt._  
The _guilt_ which was-  
Was too **UBEARABLE**  
I couldn't _face_ anybody-  
I couldn't_ face_ anybody-  
I COULDN'T EVEN FACE ANYBODY.  
Not even _myself._  
Much less you-  
So I **ran**.  
I **ran, ran, ran**.  
walkedjoggedsprinted  
Until at last  
It happened again.  
Happenedhappenedhappened  
Again.  
Right in front of my own two EYES.  
Because WHO KNEW?  
Who WOULD HAVE SAW IT COMING?  
WHATdoesn'tKILLyouMAKESyou**"**_STRONGER_**"**.  
Someone else took the bait.  
Baby, they took it for me.  
FaultFaultFault  
_Saved me from this pain._  
everything'smyfault  
They took the fall, and I  
walkedjoggedsprinted  
Away.  
Away. _Perfectly safe,_ and _okay_.  
Because someone else took the fall.  
The fall.  
The Fall.  
THE  
F  
A  
L  
L

.  
for me.

.  
.

OH COME ONE, LOOK ME** [**SQUARE**]** IN THE _EYE_  
BECAUSE I'M THE ONE **THAT YOU SHOULD BLAME**  
I'M A _**CRIMINAL**_ ALL THE SAME  
THE FAULT IS MINE  
IT'S ALL ON ME.  
_**BECAUSE**_  
becausebecausebecause  
I'm the one still _standing_ here.  
**((**Free and alive.**))**  
WHILE EVERYONE ELSE JUST FALLS  
**falls**, falls, _falls_  
They do it for me.  
_TAKE THE FALL FOR ME._  
_TAKE THE FALL FOR ME._  
_**TAKE THE FALL FOR ME.**_  
Because I'm the one who's to blame.  
FaultFaultFault  
Everything's my fault

.f.a.u.l.t.

_To my dearest old friend,_  
How have ya been?  
I'm so sorry for not writing.  
I'm so sorry for not calling.  
I'm so sorry for not glancing your way.  
**Even though I** _knew_, that things weren't okay.  
I'mtheonetoblame.  
I should have been the one to be there  
**I should have been the one** to help you.  
_I should have been there,_ and stayed there  
**_I should have given you a hand,_**  
Because you always gave me one when I needed it  
But, I didn't come.  
I didn't write.  
I didn't call.  
And it's all my fault-  
So, I'm sorry.  
Notthatthatcutsit  
Because_ I should_ have been there for you-  
I care about you.  
**You're still a friend.**  
A better one than, I've been.  
FaultFaultFault  
It's all my fault.  
I let **GUILT** get the best for me.  
**I LET EVERYONE ELSE FALL FOR ME.**  
And I'm sorry, for not helping,  
it'sallmyfault  
But let me make it up to you,  
Let me make this clear.  
Let me do this _one last thing_ for you,  
Because I owe everything I have to you.  
And though you say  
_**Thank you.**_  
Thank you for your help.  
Bringing my daughter as close to  
"Grace"  
As she can get.  
I still _**owe**_ you.  
And, I'll never stop _**owing**_ you.  
IWillHelpYouBecome**STRONGER  
.**_S_**.**_T_**.**_R_**.**_O_**.**_N_**.**_G_**.**_E_._R_**.**  
Because you saved me that day.  
I am_ forever grateful_.  
Even when people do say,  
_That that's just what partners do._  
So let me _return the favor_,  
If you ever should need it-  
_Let me help you.  
_Because, that's what partners do.

**So, that was it!**

**I know it wasn't really part of the episode. But I like to think that if Luis ever needed help with anything, after the incident with Gloria. Fin would try his best to find someone to help him out. Because that's what partners do. ;)**

**Anyway, I'd love to hear any feedback you guys have! So, feel free to leave me a review if you wish!  
Did I capture some of the emotions, that Fin was feeling during this episode well? What character (It doesn't have to correspond to an episode- it could just be about them, or an incident in general) should I do next? :D  
**

**Anyway, until next time. Bye!**


	3. Cragen- Home Invaisions

**Author's Note:**** Wow! Okay, I love you guys! Thank you all so much for the kind reviews! Your comments really made my day. Thank you all so much for taking the time to review my piece. It really does mean a lot to me. C:**

**Like I said last chapter, I try to respond to every review I get (Unless I forget, for some reason. xD). Just because, I like it whenever somebody responds to a review I leave them. xD So, I am going to quickly respond to the guest reviews that were left (Since I can't PM them). So, if you're not one of those Guests, feel free to just skip over this part if you want:**

**Guest:** _These are amazing omg! I'd kind of love to see one maybe about Cragen, from the episode Home Invasions, when he has that talk with Amanda about her gambling and getting help and how he understands what she's dealing with because they've had similar struggles with addiction? I just thought that was a beautiful scene and I think you'd do it justice :) But honestly, whatever you decide, I'd be fine with, just a suggestion! :)_

**Oh my gosh, I loved that scene too! It's so beautiful, and well-done and just sdfgdsdfggfd! It really shows a lot about Cragen, and Amanda's characters. C: Which is why I'm gonna write this chapter about it. :D Thank you so much for your request. :D**

**Guest: **_I adore these! I hope you do one about Olivia and one about Captain Cragen at some point! Fin and Amanda are my favorites, so I'm in love with the one's you've already done- You're really talented!_

**Fin, and Amanda are awesome! I do plan on doing both Olivia, and Cragen (Well this chapter is about Cragen…..I'll probably write more than one about him eventually though because he's epic. xD) But anyways, thank you for your review- you are too sweet! :D**

**Guest: **_I loved this one so much, I love Fin too and he IS epic! I think you're capturing the characters perfectly with these, really good job!_

**Fin is awesome. He doesn't seem to have as many fans as some of the other characters on the show do, so it's cool to see someone who likes him. xD c: Thank you for your compliment, and review. C: **

**Continued Author's note: ****This poem is in response to the guest who requested one about the season thirteen episode "Home Invasions". More specifically the scene where Amanda opens up about her Gambling addiction to Cragen. And Cragen tells her that he really should take her badge, and gun. But, he's not going too. Because he used to have a problem with drinking. And when his captain found out, Cragen acknowledges that he should have been fired. But, his Captain got him help instead. So, he lets Amanda stay on the squad. And helps her get into "Gambler's Anonymous" meetings. **

**I'm not including any spoiler warnings in this. Because Amanda's gambling addiction, and Cragen's alcoholism. Seem to be basic knowledge on the show now. C:**

**Anyway, without further ado. Here's the new poem:**

* * *

**-** Confession.** -**  
A _delicate_ **word.**  
A **word** that once seemed so _.I.n.n.o.c.e.n.t._,  
So** innocent**. So_ relieving_. So pure.  
And then I came here.  
**-** Confession. **-**  
**-**?-  
She stands **STRAIGHT UP TALL**,  
With her **CHIN UP**. Not too **HIGH**, but not too** LOW**.  
A mere _child_ **(**_(aCtInG_**)**_)_ so **CONFIDENT**  
Acting, _pretending_, **faking**,  
confidence  
To hide  
**tohide**tohide**tohide**tohide  
But, even the **most** _talented_-  
ACTORS and ACTRESSES  
sometimes -b-r-e-a-_kkkkk_  
They **stumble**, and they **fall** _on stage,_  
She's an _ACTRESS_  
And I'm the** AUDIENCE**  
quietly, silently, without a sound, softly  
_Watching_ her.  
there'snowheretohide  
But not _judging_ her.  
As she falls, and scrapes her knees on screen  
Her hands quiver, and her voice shakes  
INFILTRATEmyHIDINGplace  
tohidetohidetohidetohide  
An experienced **ACTRESS**  
_Hiding_ behind a mask of  
CONFIDENCE.  
**tohide**tohide**tohide**tohide  
Hiding.  
tohide**tohide**tohide**tohide**  
Hiding, just like how I used too,  
**hidehidehide**  
Back in my old _acting_ days.  
**Hide**awayallthepain  
THE CURTAIN OPENS  
And once again, this play begins-  
The ACTRESS mounts the stage.  
A principal role, a LEADING part  
Shecan'tmessupShecan'tmessup  
ThePAPARAZIareoutthere.  
Andthey'llonlyustmakefunofher  
Nervously shifting about her feet.  
**\- (**_Shutting the door_**,) -**  
She **declares** that we need to talk.  
onceandACTORalwaysanACTOR  
And yet, though she doesn't know it  
Somehow I agree  
Because, she and I  
Owe each other a few **words**.  
**Words.**  
**Words. Words. Words.**  
**Words** that her bookie said to me,  
**A criminal.**_ A con.  
_**Words,**  
that I would have much rather heard  
Coming from her lips-  
_Lines said in a play by an actress_  
But hesitation, and fear  
knowyourscript.  
Got the best out of her  
don'tmessup

anELEPHANTneverFORGETS  
andACTORneverFORGETShowtoACT

Is it _disappointment_?  
Or, maybe could it be _fear_?  
_Sadness_, _regret_, _remorse_, or maybe even _anger_-  
At _**who**_? _**Myself**_? Or _**her**_?  
No, not _**her**_.  
But something in me suddenly

!S!N!A!P!S

!, and I tell her that I know.

**I know.**  
_I know._  
Anything else that _**I should know**_?  
Knowknowknow  
Know your **SCRIPT**.  
Learn your **LINES**.  
Being an **ACTOR** is a  
**FULL TIME JOB.**  
Don't forget your lines, again.  
_She nervously ponders about the stage,_  
An _actress_ in a _theatrical performance_,  
Reading off of the script.  
Saying words that soundsoundsound  
_**Like words that I once said.**_  
onceanACTORalwaysanACTOR  
An **actress** she is, and a **LUCKY one** at that  
"I gambled, and I lost. That's it."  
If that's the extent of it-  
Then you're **lucky.**  
**Lucky.** Lucky. _Lucky._  
That at the end of the play-  
**YOUR CHARACTER GETS TO GO FREE.**  
_Unlucky._ Unlucky. **Unlucky.**  
Because not every **ACTRESS** always,  
Justjustust  
_Gambles_ and _loses_.  
Justjustjust  
Like not every Actor-  
justjustjust  
Only _drinks once_, and _forgets_ it.  
ONCEanACTORalwaysANactor  
anelephantneverforgets

Now, you do realize that-

I should.  
I shouldshouldshould  
Take your  
GUN and SHIELD  
right now.

…

But, I won't.  
shouldshouldshould  
But, I won't.  
won'twon'twon't

She recites the script_\- just like you did._  
An _Actor_, and an _Actress_ both_ playing_ the same _part_.  
Reciting the same lines.  
So **INDEPENDENT**.  
So **PREPARED**.  
untiluntiluntil  
_The script changes._  
And every line is  
**.**_L_**.**_O_**.**_S_**.**_T_**.**

….Lost…  
….Lost?...  
Lost.  
Lost. Lost. Lost.  
lost

YOU ARE THE ((MIRROR)).  
YOU ARE THE(( MEMORY)).  
Nostalgia. The repeat.  
youarethemirroryouarethememory  
And yet we were never the** first**, nor the **second**-  
**I GET IT, OKAY?**  
I get it, okay?  
Though I don'twon'tcan't always admit it.  
But-  
I get it.  
**This job.** _This job._ This job.  
This silly **_ACTING_** gig.  
It can _**WEIGH**_ on you.  
_**WEIGH ON YOU** _when you lose your script  
_**WEIGH ON YOU**_ when you show up late to call time  
**_WEIGH ON YOU _**when your costume tears  
_**WEIGH ON YOU**_ when the camera breaks  
It can **_WEIGH ON YOU_**. Because_** YOU**_ are an-  
Actress.  
And I am an actor.  
One of the very best actors.  
onceANactorALWAYSanACTOR  
Because I've claimed my **O**_S_C**AR**  
Won my E**M**_M_Y  
And also met a **p**_r_o**d**_i_g**y**_-_  
youdon'tneedtoactanymore  
That's y**o**_u_.  
You are a m**i**_r_r**o**_r_.  
A reflection of my **p**_a_s**t**-  
Which is why I'm going to grant you,  
A **2**_second_**2** chance.  
nobodyshouldhavetohide  
Don't keep on _acting_.  
It's not the right path for you.  
Don't claim your _O_S**C**_A_R**S**.  
Don't win an _E_M**M**_Y_.  
Treat yourself, as you'd like to be treated.  
And -b-r-e-a-t-h-e-, just -b-r-e-a-t-h-e-.  
Because we're good.  
onceanactoralwaysanactor  
I got out of the acting business by luck-  
Luck._ Luck._** Luck.**  
Because someone else was-  
**Understanding.** _Willing._ Caring.  
enough to help.  
You're a better _detective_, than you are an _actress_  
anelephantneverforgets  
So, stay here if you will.  
And  
Let me find a way to help you,  
Because _once upon a time_,  
**I was an actor too.**  
And someone else was _caring_ enough,  
To help me, when I needed it most.  
Take a deep breath, and dry your tears,  
Because you don't have to go through this all _alone_,  
We're going to find you _help._  
So, believe in yourself.  
Because, I still believe in you.

* * *

**So, that was it! :D**  
**I must admit, I personally do not like parts of it as much as I did my last two poems. But, it turned out okay. It was super fun to write, because I love that scene in "Home Invasions". :D**  
**And, in case you were wondering. The episode "Home Invasions", is the fourteenth episode of season thirteen. c:**  
**Anyway, let me know what you guys think in a review! Feel free to request something, if you want, because I really love writing these. xD c:**  
**See you guys later!**


	4. Olivia - Girls Disappeared

**Hey guys! Sorry to abandon this for awhile, but since this is sort of just a little side project of mine/I'm a student so this was never planned out to be updated super regularly. But I'm back! And so is the newest season of SVU, which means...**

**WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR EPISODE ONE OF SEASON SIXTEEN.**

**If you haven't seen the season premiere yet, you have been warned...**

**I don't typically watch SVU when it airs. Because A) Someone else is almost always using the TV in my house at that time, or B) I just don't have time. So, I got all caught up this weekend, and oh my goodness season sixteen is off to one INTENSE start.**

**Anyway I believe I've gotten a few requests for Olivia in the past. This poem is about Olivia. In the season premiere (called "Girls Disappeared") like at the very start of the episode she has this little talk with Noah about how she loves him, and she wants to tell him about his Mom one day, but she doesn't know how she will be able too. I tried to incorporate that little moment with Liv's overall drive throughout the episode to find who ordered Ellie's kill and all that stuff...**

**It is definitely not as long as my other poems, so I'm sorry about that! I mostly accredit that due to how sick I have been these past few days. But I really wanted to write one of these since season sixteen came out not that long ago! (Or at least it feels like not that long ago to me. xD)**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! And thank you for reading!**

* * *

Growing up we all hear _stories  
_parentstellltheirchildrenstories  
_Stories_ about KINGDOMS  
_Stories_ about the PAST  
_Stories_ about the FUTURE  
_AND STORIES ABOUT MONSTERS_  
[areyouafraidofthe**dark**?]  
Parents tell their children stories  
EvErYnIgHt  
So that they can **((**I_M_A_G_I_N_E**))** a whole other world  
_don'tthinkaboutthemonsters_  
So that they can** ((**K_N_O_W_**))** that there is more out there  
_letmeholdyoucloseletmeholdyouclose  
_But **New York**, _New York_, New York, _**New York**_  
City of gold, city of embers  
Light my soul on **/**_F_**/**_I_**/**_R_**/**_E_**/**_._**/**  
_Your soul is beautiful like a new born child's_  
**Curiosity growing stronger like fire on a candle**  
_jackjumpedoverthecandlestick_  
But if you get too close you'll get** burnt  
**Because there are** monsters** on these streets  
There's still one out there.  
_Still one more-_  
I'mgonnafindhimIswear  
iswearisweariswear

That's the one thing I've learned about the streets of  
-N-E-W-Y-O-R-K  
...  
You were born in New York  
_Iwastoo_  
You are a **product** of these shallow streets  
You can **see** it in your eyes.  
Her **energy** shines through you.  
_You mother was born here, on a spring day_  
It grew colder when she died.  
Which is why the sun doesn't always shine here  
[_monstersinthe**dark**_]  
But if you'll let me be your** KINGDOM**  
_I'll help to guide you to the sun_  
_I know it's been a tough road_  
But you've  
**-GOT A LOT OF FRIENDS HERE-**  
And I'm **_one_** of them.  
YOUR _MOTHER_ **LOVED** YOU IN THE PAST.  
_SHE_ **LOVES** YOU STILL IN THE PRESENT.  
AND _SHE'LL_ **LOVE** YOU IN THE FUTURE  
it's just not fair  
That's she's not here to see you** .**_G_.R**.**_O_**.**W**.**,  
See you _learn_, see you _smile_  
_She'll be watching down on you from afar._  
And yes parents tell their children stories.  
And one day I just want you to **know**  
Yours.  
But I don't know how.  
whydoIhavetofeelso**conflicted**allthetime  
It will take some time, and it will take awhile.  
But the **day** that ** day** comes.  
I just want you to know that-  
She** l**_o_**v**_e_**d** you.  
She _l_**o**_v_**e**_d_ you on these streets.  
The streets of N_Y_**C**.  
And** I love you** too.  
You'll growing up knowing you are _loved_.  
_Knowing that you're loved._

* * *

**What did you think? Leave me a review below if you want- I swear I won't bite! :D Anyway thank you guys for reading! Sorry this one was a bit shorter than my other poems!**

**\- Sheridan**


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